Lately I've been thinking about all the opportunities I've let pass me by and the skills/talents I didn't develop. That leads me to think about the future, my education, career, etcetera.
I've had some type of senoritis for at least the last year and I doubt that I'm really doing what I want.
But today I got the pick me up I needed.
The work that I want to do, as an adoption lawyer is perfect combination of what I want to do and what I would be good at doing. Helping families begin and grow and giving children opportunities for better lives. Seems like a 'win-win' career to me.
I couldn't imagine my life without my family and I am so thankful for the adoption system.
Yesterday I spent the day with my mom.
We watched "The Secret Life of Bees." Definitely a great movie. Alicia Keys plays June Boatwright, a cellist. I absolutely love the cello. I think it's the most beautiful sounding instrument and I've always wished that I knew how to play. While watching her play I made a comment that I'd always wanted to play. That I didn't play because I didn't think it'd be practical. My moms reply took me off guard with, "Life is never practical, you just have to enjoy it."
Regretting isn't going to change anything. It's one instance where no amount of trying will ever be enough.
"Finding the truth is only half of it. What you do with it is what matters."
This profound line comes straight from "The Secret Life Bees" and I've decided to once again re-title my blog.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Some thoughts today
So I've decided that its time for a change.
That I am no longer satisfied with the way things are.
And I'm going to do something about it.
Right now I'm reading "Your Erroneous Zones" by Wayne Dyer and its really helping me to see the world and life in a new light.
But it's definitely not an easy to do. Staying consistent and constantly growing is going to be my present challenge.
My thoughts keep going back to the past and its funny that this song randomly played on my ipod. Now it's stuck in my head lol.
It's the Goo Goo Dolls and its called "Can't Let It Go"
You said you'd light a candle
And you'd say a prayer for me
I feel the light has dimmed and gone
Half the world is begging
While the other half steals
Where did everything go wrong?
Some days I can't believe
Others, I'm on my knees
Trying to be heard
I was your anger
And you were my fear
Now that it's over
Of course it's so clear
But you were no angel
And I was no sin
Somehow I can't let it go
I can't let it go
And half the world is sleeping
While the other half dreams
You close your eyes
And then you're gone
And maybe my intentions
Have been misunderstood
I know you feel so beautifully wronged
Some days I can't believe
Others, I'm on my knees
Hoping I belong
I was your anger
And you were my fear
Now that it's over
Of course it's so clear
But you were no angel
And I was no sin
Somehow I can't let it go
I can't let it go
And laughter is my soul's release
But we're not smiling anymore
And can't we try to win this peace?
'Cause we're never gonna win
Never gonna win this war
I was your anger
And you were my fear
Now that it's over
Of course it's so clear
But you were no angel
And I was no sin
Somehow I can't let it go
I can't let it go
That I am no longer satisfied with the way things are.
And I'm going to do something about it.
Right now I'm reading "Your Erroneous Zones" by Wayne Dyer and its really helping me to see the world and life in a new light.
But it's definitely not an easy to do. Staying consistent and constantly growing is going to be my present challenge.
My thoughts keep going back to the past and its funny that this song randomly played on my ipod. Now it's stuck in my head lol.
It's the Goo Goo Dolls and its called "Can't Let It Go"
You said you'd light a candle
And you'd say a prayer for me
I feel the light has dimmed and gone
Half the world is begging
While the other half steals
Where did everything go wrong?
Some days I can't believe
Others, I'm on my knees
Trying to be heard
I was your anger
And you were my fear
Now that it's over
Of course it's so clear
But you were no angel
And I was no sin
Somehow I can't let it go
I can't let it go
And half the world is sleeping
While the other half dreams
You close your eyes
And then you're gone
And maybe my intentions
Have been misunderstood
I know you feel so beautifully wronged
Some days I can't believe
Others, I'm on my knees
Hoping I belong
I was your anger
And you were my fear
Now that it's over
Of course it's so clear
But you were no angel
And I was no sin
Somehow I can't let it go
I can't let it go
And laughter is my soul's release
But we're not smiling anymore
And can't we try to win this peace?
'Cause we're never gonna win
Never gonna win this war
I was your anger
And you were my fear
Now that it's over
Of course it's so clear
But you were no angel
And I was no sin
Somehow I can't let it go
I can't let it go
Saturday, September 19, 2009
GCSF on the news!
So my fencing club (GCSF) was on channel 12 news Friday, September 18, 2009
Made my little brother a star :)
For some reason the embedded code isn't working on my blog but here is the web address. I also posted it on my myspace and facebook if we're already friends :)
http://www.azcentral.com/12news/news/articles/2009/09/18/20090918wheelchairfencingweb-CR.html
Made my little brother a star :)
For some reason the embedded code isn't working on my blog but here is the web address. I also posted it on my myspace and facebook if we're already friends :)
http://www.azcentral.com/12news/news/articles/2009/09/18/20090918wheelchairfencingweb-CR.html
Monday, September 14, 2009
Someone else posted
Found this on a random website, its beautiful.
http://www.matchdoctor.com/blog_46998/I_will_miss_you_but_will_let_you_go.html
will miss you, but will let you u go...
I will miss you but will let you go
When you come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for you
You want no nights in a gloom filled room
Why cry for a soul set free
I will miss you but let you go
I will not let my head bow to low
And remember the love we had
That we once shared
I will miss you but will let you go
For this is a journey we all must take
And each must go alone
For it is all part of the master plan
A step on the road home
When I'm lonely or sick at heart
I will go to friends we know
And bury my sorrows in doing good deeds
I will miss you but will let you go
I know your time is near
I feel it creeping up
I'm trying so hard not to be afraid
My love to you I send
For your suffering will soon end
I ask that it is painless
And to take my soul with you
I will miss you but will let you go..
This is a dedication to a friend
who died 23rd april 2005
http://www.matchdoctor.com/blog_46998/I_will_miss_you_but_will_let_you_go.html
I will miss you.. but.... will let you go....
will miss you, but will let you u go...
I will miss you but will let you go
When you come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for you
You want no nights in a gloom filled room
Why cry for a soul set free
I will miss you but let you go
I will not let my head bow to low
And remember the love we had
That we once shared
I will miss you but will let you go
For this is a journey we all must take
And each must go alone
For it is all part of the master plan
A step on the road home
When I'm lonely or sick at heart
I will go to friends we know
And bury my sorrows in doing good deeds
I will miss you but will let you go
I know your time is near
I feel it creeping up
I'm trying so hard not to be afraid
My love to you I send
For your suffering will soon end
I ask that it is painless
And to take my soul with you
I will miss you but will let you go..
This is a dedication to a friend
who died 23rd april 2005
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Obama's Healthcare Speech
No more twisted ideas from the media or 'crazies', now you can hear it straight from the president himself.
Obama's Healthcare Speech
Obama's Healthcare Speech
Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy
My personality type?
Lol so not to discredit anything but I found this quiz on facebook (What is your personality?)
I still think the results are interesting.
Personality Type 7
You are prone periods of self examination. This is a contrast because you try to appear socially engaged and engaging in a way that convinces others but not always yourself. it is sometimes a faced and you catch yourself doing that. At a gathering you sometimes play a part. You'll be funny and talkative but find yourself detaching, watching everything around you, perhaps unable to engage. You replay conversations in your head, wondering what a person meant when they said such and such. Other people might not care about it, but you do. This inner conflict between self examination and public persona has been mastered through control. You like to show a calm, self assured, fluid kind of stability. But because it's self created you can get frustrated by yourself, noting how you are with other people. You tend to keep people at bay at the past in order to protect yourself, because in the past you have been disappointed by people. You keep people at arms length until YOU decide to let them into the magic circle of your life. However, once across the line, a kind of emotional dependency kicks in which maybe leaves you hurt or dejected if it appears they have betrayed that status. Because of your bouts of self examination, that you find even that hard to examine, which has made you concerned that you don't even know the real you. These facades or sides of yourself which you present to the world make you wonder if you've lost touch with the real you which is naturally quite spontaneous. You're very creative and have tried to utilize this in different avenues. You might not say, paint. But your creativity expresses itself in more subtle ways. You have very vivid ideas for example that are well formed but that others often fail to grasp. You set high standards for yourself. You're a bit of a perfectionist. But that causes problems because you often don't get stuff done because you are so frustrated by mediocrity and are wearied by starting things new every time. But once you're involved , you're sailing. This might have lead you to wanting to write a novel for example, but the fear of not being able to quite do what you set out to achieve stops you getting on with it. You have a real vision of things which others fall short of. You are currently fighting against restraints on your desires to express yourself creatively and freely. One or both of your parents is no longer around or emotionally very distant from you. The relationship with your parents is under some strain. You feel that they don't really understand you, and this is causing frustration from your point of view. You wish to remain fond of them, but they are unaware of your thoughts on the matter. In the past you have been made to feel like a bit of an outsider, perhaps isolated from a certain group you wished to be part of. Now you take the outsider role, defending it by concisely not being part of a group. This could be religious or social in nature. however this attitude will serve your career and creative goals very well. You have enormous cynicism towards this who are part of groups and display cliquey behavior. You are disappointed when a friend displays these traits as deep down it feels like rejection. For all your introspection, you have developed a great sense of humor that makes connections quickly and wittily, but you often make jokes that are so funny that they often go over the heads of others. You go over and rehearse jokes or stories for other people to enjoy. This is a healthy desire to impress others. You hate it when you catch yourself doing this, but don't be too worried about it. I'm getting an odd feeling that you feel you should have been born in a different century or time period. Perhaps you can make more sense of that I can. Strong monetary shifts are taking place right now. Both in the recent past and near future represents quite a change. You're naturally quite disorganized.
You may have a box of old photo's or loose photo's not organized into albums perhaps near you bed . Old Medicines. Broken items not thrown away. Notes to yourself that are out of date. Perhaps because you lack motivation sometimes. You are resourceful and talented enough to be successful when you put your mind to something. But you also procrastinate and put things off. You've given up on dreams too easily when your mind has flitted elsewhere. In your home you have evidence of a creative foray into either an instrument or creative writing, perhaps poetry that you have given up on. You have the capacity to see such and such a thing or person is the be all and end all and will be around forever. You'd rather try and fail than to settle for the little that you see others content with. In conclusion. You are a really interesting person, more interesting than most. Something of a conundrum which is no surprise to you. You're bright. Open to life’s possibilities something not normally found among achieving people. It would do well to be less self absorbed and relinquish some of the control you exercise when around others. You could also let people in more. I'm aware from you that you feel that there is a darkness that you think you should hide. Much of this is in the personal, relationship or sexual and is related to a neediness that you don't like. You have an appealing personality. Genuinely.
I still think the results are interesting.
Personality Type 7
You are prone periods of self examination. This is a contrast because you try to appear socially engaged and engaging in a way that convinces others but not always yourself. it is sometimes a faced and you catch yourself doing that. At a gathering you sometimes play a part. You'll be funny and talkative but find yourself detaching, watching everything around you, perhaps unable to engage. You replay conversations in your head, wondering what a person meant when they said such and such. Other people might not care about it, but you do. This inner conflict between self examination and public persona has been mastered through control. You like to show a calm, self assured, fluid kind of stability. But because it's self created you can get frustrated by yourself, noting how you are with other people. You tend to keep people at bay at the past in order to protect yourself, because in the past you have been disappointed by people. You keep people at arms length until YOU decide to let them into the magic circle of your life. However, once across the line, a kind of emotional dependency kicks in which maybe leaves you hurt or dejected if it appears they have betrayed that status. Because of your bouts of self examination, that you find even that hard to examine, which has made you concerned that you don't even know the real you. These facades or sides of yourself which you present to the world make you wonder if you've lost touch with the real you which is naturally quite spontaneous. You're very creative and have tried to utilize this in different avenues. You might not say, paint. But your creativity expresses itself in more subtle ways. You have very vivid ideas for example that are well formed but that others often fail to grasp. You set high standards for yourself. You're a bit of a perfectionist. But that causes problems because you often don't get stuff done because you are so frustrated by mediocrity and are wearied by starting things new every time. But once you're involved , you're sailing. This might have lead you to wanting to write a novel for example, but the fear of not being able to quite do what you set out to achieve stops you getting on with it. You have a real vision of things which others fall short of. You are currently fighting against restraints on your desires to express yourself creatively and freely. One or both of your parents is no longer around or emotionally very distant from you. The relationship with your parents is under some strain. You feel that they don't really understand you, and this is causing frustration from your point of view. You wish to remain fond of them, but they are unaware of your thoughts on the matter. In the past you have been made to feel like a bit of an outsider, perhaps isolated from a certain group you wished to be part of. Now you take the outsider role, defending it by concisely not being part of a group. This could be religious or social in nature. however this attitude will serve your career and creative goals very well. You have enormous cynicism towards this who are part of groups and display cliquey behavior. You are disappointed when a friend displays these traits as deep down it feels like rejection. For all your introspection, you have developed a great sense of humor that makes connections quickly and wittily, but you often make jokes that are so funny that they often go over the heads of others. You go over and rehearse jokes or stories for other people to enjoy. This is a healthy desire to impress others. You hate it when you catch yourself doing this, but don't be too worried about it. I'm getting an odd feeling that you feel you should have been born in a different century or time period. Perhaps you can make more sense of that I can. Strong monetary shifts are taking place right now. Both in the recent past and near future represents quite a change. You're naturally quite disorganized.
You may have a box of old photo's or loose photo's not organized into albums perhaps near you bed . Old Medicines. Broken items not thrown away. Notes to yourself that are out of date. Perhaps because you lack motivation sometimes. You are resourceful and talented enough to be successful when you put your mind to something. But you also procrastinate and put things off. You've given up on dreams too easily when your mind has flitted elsewhere. In your home you have evidence of a creative foray into either an instrument or creative writing, perhaps poetry that you have given up on. You have the capacity to see such and such a thing or person is the be all and end all and will be around forever. You'd rather try and fail than to settle for the little that you see others content with. In conclusion. You are a really interesting person, more interesting than most. Something of a conundrum which is no surprise to you. You're bright. Open to life’s possibilities something not normally found among achieving people. It would do well to be less self absorbed and relinquish some of the control you exercise when around others. You could also let people in more. I'm aware from you that you feel that there is a darkness that you think you should hide. Much of this is in the personal, relationship or sexual and is related to a neediness that you don't like. You have an appealing personality. Genuinely.
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